FOR THE HEARTS, HOMES AND HANDS OF TODAY.

 

Relationship Assessment 

Person (whose relationship are you assessing): 

 

How do I connect best with this person? 

 

What does this person do to get my attention? 

 

How do I respond? 

 

How do I try to get this person to do what I want? 

 

How/do I power struggle with this person?

 

How do I see this person?

 

How do I see their choices and behavior?

 

Do I trust that this person wants my happiness/has my best interest at heart, as well as their own?

 

Do I trust that this person wants to do good? 

 

Do I feel love for this person daily? 

​

What do I do when I don’t feel like I love them? 

 

Do I treat them any differently? 

 

When this person makes mistakes, do I accept that these things happened, care for what is in my role to do so and move on, or do I take it personal, maybe as a threat to me in some way and get upset — and possibly emotionally controlling?

​

​

​

​

Self-assessment & agency in action (self-government)

​

Learning/teaching self-government = Freedom from emotional bondage = Learning/choosing/able to truly love.

 

This process below is transforming old patterns & “triggers” into new pathways & “cues” for choosing what is truly wanted. This can be used in the moment of a “triggered” response, practiced in a quiet moment to prepare how you will handle such situations or walked through as an opportunity to reflect, looking a little deeper, caring for what is yours to do so: 

 

   1. *Pause -  know that these emotions/feelings are “traffic signals”; communications to & for you, simply indicating what you are thinking/how seeing/what experiencing. 

       *And, take a/some deep breath(s). Bounce on heels &/or shake arms & legs a bit. (Addressing the chemicals).

 

   2. *Ask:

          “What am/was I feeling? ”(Describe from a more observant view.) 

           "What did I/normally do I think that led/leads to this feeling?” 

          *Describe: “Just now, when _______, I felt/feel _________. I saw it as/was thinking/had the thought _________.”

 

    3. *Now, ask a thinking/truth seeking question to come more fully back into your thinking brain & open your heart and mind to the                 truth: 

 

               “Is this automatic thought the truth? The whole story? What is “the rest of the story”, the full/er picture here? What is the truth I              need to acknowledge here? Do I need to seek more understanding/a higher perspective here?”

 

                *Do so. Pray. Ask. Seek understanding.

 

                *Reconnect with/to the truth. Breath, center & ground in it.

 

    4. “I am now replacing that auto thought with this truth: ____________.” 

 

    5. “And, I now do this:______________.” (What skill/loving action/tools/words do you now have to show up as you are given                      to, in the situation before you?)

​

Or, for a less detailed version…

​

1. “When ________, I think/see it as ______ and feel _______.”

2. “What is the truth; “the rest of the story”/full picture here?” 

3. “I now see __________ and now choose to _________.”

​